12.29.2005 Suggestion Box

With the offseason starting to slow down, NoMaas is looking to add some new features as we approach next season.  We'd love to get some feedback and ideas from our visitors.  If there is anything you'd like to see on the site, just post it on the comments board or email admin@nomaas.org

Perhaps more Stallone?
 

12.27.2005 Season's Greetings

12.27.2005 Oh poor baby

Joe Torre will not be returning to the YES Network's postgame "Joe Torre Report."  His Holiness remains outraged that anyone would question him about his managing. (Source)

12.23.2005 Red Sox return fire...

...and sign John Flaherty.  Boston's co-GMs apparently found Flaherty's .458 OPS too good to pass up. (Source)

Boston fans react to the signing of their new backup catcher.
 

12.23.2005 Dotel excited to be in New York

12.23.2005 Definitions of a Natural/True Leadoff Hitter™

We received quite a number of responses to our inquiry, so we picked out a few random ones for you to read.

Rob from CT
Ryan from NY
Frank from Parts Unknown
No Name
 

12.22.2005Natural/True Leadoff Hitter™

For those advocating that Johnny Damon should hit in the #1 spot for the Yankees because he is a "Natural/True Leadoff Hitter™", please define exactly what this phrase means. Please post your definitions on the comments board or email them to admin@nomaas.org

Thank you.
 

12.22.2005 Huh?

But a Yankees official, speaking on the condition of anonymity, said the Yankees had been closely monitoring the Damon situation all winter, hoping Boras would come down to three or four years. Once that happened, it was just a matter of blowing Boston's offer out of the water to secure Damon's services. (Source)

Did they take this same aggressive tactic with Giles or Nomar?
 

12.21.2005 Playa Hatin'

NoMaas' Sensei John Kreese has no mercy for the Damon deal.

What's done is done.  We campaigned heavily against a Damon signing, but even with the deal, we still believe that the Yankees have had a very successful offseason.  And, we don't think Cash is done yet.

With that being said, here are some positives and negatives of the Damon deal:

Positives by NoMaas' Brisco County Jr

Negatives by NoMaas' Prince Akeem, heir to the throne of Zamunda (Part 1 of 3)
 

12.22.2005 Next up: DH & Bench

1. The Yankees should now look to strengthen their designated hitter spot and their bench.  For DH, they need a solid bat who can also relieve Matsui, Damon, and Sheffield in the outfield.  This will allow the older outfield players to rotate in and out of the DH spot, saving some wear and tear on their bodies.

Note: We do not want Bernie as our regular DH.

2. One of the Yankees biggest weaknesses over the past few years has been their bench.  We have been blessed with the likes of John Flaherty, Ruben Sierra, Charles Gipson, Rey Sanchez, Tony Womack, etc.  The Yankees need more depth in their reserves.

NoMaas will outline proposals in the coming days.

What will Ca$hMoney do next?
 

12.20.2005 Cue vomit

Johnny Damon’s days in Boston are over.

The free-agent center fielder agreed to a four-year, $52 million contract with the rival Yankees late Tuesday night. The agreement is contingent on Damon passing a physical.

Damon conformed the deal in an interview on Boston television station CBS-4 on Tuesday night.

"New York came after me aggressively and that's what sealed the deal," he said. "I'm headed to New York ... I'm very excited ... It's with mixed emotions ... Time for me to look forward."  (Source)

Knee-jerk reaction from NoMaas:

We seriously can't believe this.  We are upset beyond words.  The Yankees spend $52 million on a guy who has a 102 OPS+ for his career and was one of the worst defensive CFs in baseball last year, according to Zone Rating.  Best of all, the Yankees will get his decline years as he hits his mid 30s.

And because he's a "natural leadoff hitter", he is going to move 5 better hitters down in the batting order.  And how many times do you think Jeter is going to sacrifice bunt next year?  Damon should hit 6th in this Yankee lineup.

This signing goes against everything that Cashman has been preaching so far this offseason.   Was this a Cashman move or was this ordered by Steinbrenner?  One has to wonder.  Either way proves that this organization is still dysfunctional and inefficient.

Is he an upgrade over Bernie?  Yes, he is.  But is he worth a $52 million investment? What about the luxury tax?  Ever hear of risk/reward?   This is a waste of money and a typical Yankees move.  These are the garbage transactions that inspired the creation of NoMaas.
 

12.20.2005 No one believes you

"I’m not here looking to achieve what I did (in Boston),” he said. “The biggest thing I can achieve is being part of a World Series team. That’s what I want to achieve here. I’ve never set personal goals for myself. It doesn’t matter whether you hit .370 or .250 or .210 if you have a ring on your finger.”  (Source)

It doesn't matter if you hit .370 or .210?  Is that why you signed a one-year deal?

You want to win a World Series?  Think the odds of winning a World Series are higher in LA than NY?
 

12.18.2005 Busy signal

Torre calls BJ Ryan, signs with Toronto
Torre calls Giles, signs with San Diego
Torre calls Nomar, signs with Los Angeles

12.15.2005 The Adventures of Ca$hMoney, Episode 1

Click here to see Ca$hMoney's adventure
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

12.14.2005 The steal of the offseason

While other GMs sign 110 ERA+ pitchers to $55 million deals and give two-year contracts to 47-year olds, Brian Cashman is perhaps lining up the biggest bargain of the offseason.  If the Yankees GM pulls this one off and the terms of the deal reflect his injury history, this would be an absolute steal.

How should Nomar be used if he is signed?  NoMaas' Jimmy Two Times:

Give Sheffield 20 games at DH and stick Nomar in RF.  Give Matsui 15 games at DH and stick him in LF.  Give Giambi 50 games at DH and stick Nomar at first.  Give Rodriguez 10 games off at DH and stick Nomar at third, Give Jeter 10 games off at SS and stick Nomar at short.  Give Cano 10 games off and stick Nomar at second.  That's 115 games in the field.
 
 
 

12.14.2005 Oh Dear God

"According to multiple officials familiar with the situation, the Yankees' manager reached out to free-agent centerfielder Johnny Damon." (Source)

"We see him [Damon] play so much it feels like every day," Joe Torre said yesterday. "From the 2004 postseason through this season we have seen him 1,000 times. He makes things happen. He doesn't have an outstanding arm but he never had a strong arm when he was a youngster." (Source)

12.14.2005 NoMaas wants YOU

Repeating NoMaas offseason idea #7:

Career 125 ERA+, .562 OPS Against vs. righties over the past 3 years, averaged at least 10 K/9 from 2002-2004.

Can probably be had on an incentive-based deal.

Well worth the risk.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

12.13.2005 Bear market

12.12.2005 Stay Away

"The Yankees are starting to get serious with Johnny Damon, and according to a person familiar with the Yankees' plans, they'll be "very strong" players if Damon will consider a four-year offer." (Source)

Why signing Johnny Damon does not make sense for the Yankees:

1. Inconsistent performer: had an OPS+ of under 100 as recently as 2003 (94 OPS+).  Career OPS+ of only 102.

2. Joe Torre would hit him leadoff: Because Damon is perceived as being "fast" and this general misconception that Jeter is a better #2 hitter, Torre will have Damon kick off the Yankees batting order.

Jeter was perhaps the best leadoff hitter in baseball last year.  His OBP was .389 compared to Damon's .366.  In fact, Damon's OBP would have ranked 6th among Yankee regulars in 2005.

3. His fielding is declining: Damon ranked 15 out of 20 in Zone Rating among MLB CFs in 2005.

Hopefully, the front office is just trying to drive the price up on Boston
 

12.09.2005 The night he came to the Bronx

Devastating vs. lefties with a .409 OPS Against (.198 OBP) in 2005.

From 2002-2004, he held lefties to a .595 OPS Against.
 

Death to lefties
 

12.09.2005 1-year deal

NoMaas offseason idea #10

It would cost no draft picks or prospects.  Get it done.

Clemens: "I want to come back to the Yankees so much, I'll even shave my armpits."
 

12.09.2005 Winner of Best Picture 2005

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you
 

12.09.2005 John Schuerholz should be committed to a mental asylum

In a state of temporary insanity, the Atlanta Braves traded super-prospect Andy Marte to the Boston Red Sox for a poor hitting, bad fielding, extremely overpaid shortstop.  Just 22 years old, Andy Marte put up an impressive line in 2005 at AAA-Richmond:  .372 OBP / .506 SLG / .878 OPS

Meanwhile, Edgar Renteria made $10 million to produce an OPS+ of 91 (100 being average) and was one of the worst defensive SS in all of baseball.  He also has three  years left on his existing contract.

Red Sox president Larry Lucchino hands Braves GM John Schuerholz the "I Made the Dumbest Move of the Offseason" Award.
 

12.08.2005 Bernie coming back?

"Bernie Williams is willing to take a part-time role to remain in pinstripes, and the Yankees are willing to take him back.

According to a source with knowledge of the negotiations, Williams and the Yankees agreed in principle to a one-year, $2 million contract." (Source)

Is this the best use of $2 million?  Probably not.
 

12.08.2005 Johnny Two-Face

First quote in December 7th newspapers
Second quote made in April 2005
 

12.08.2005 For the dirty old man in your life

12.06.2005 Ca$hMoney lets 'em know

"I don't think we have as much need as maybe everybody else does," Cashman said. "And you learn, over time, if you don't get it in the winter, you still have time to get it as you go along. It's a terrible free-agent market, and just because other teams are doing it doesn't mean we should be active just to be active." (Source)

"If I had an obvious opportunity for centerfield, I would move quick, but I don't," Cashman said. " ... There are players available on the market who would be an upgrade for us, but we don't like their price tags, whether it's players traded or cost in dollars." (Source)

Cash: "I'm waxing chumps like candles."
 

12.06.2005 Saying goodbye to a legend

Williams showed up at the Wyndham Anatole hotel as baseball's Winter Meeting opened, and Yankees general manager Brian Cashman said he plans to meet with Williams' agent before tomorrow's midnight deadline for offering him arbitration.

"I don't think it's going to happen," Williams said of an arbitration offer. "If they do, great, but if not, you've got to move on, man."

"I'm still pretty confident," he said, "and I feel like I can still play. I'm optimistic about somebody signing me and giving me a chance. So we'll see what happens. Right now, there's nothing going on." (Source)

Never to be worn by a Yankee again.
 

12.06.2005 Where's Womack?

Can you find Tony Womack? Click here to play.
 

12.05.2005 You can't steal first base

What good is speed if you don't get on base? .326 OBP (Jeter .389)

Below-average centerfielder: Ranked 12 out of 20 in Zone Rating among qualified MLB CFs
 

12.03.2005 Goodbye 148 OPS+

NoMaas' #1 offseason target is gone.

12.03.2005 Farnsworth

When analyzing Kyle Farnsworth, one should first throw out the first 2 years of his career.  He was a full-time starter in his rookie season and started 5 games in his second year.

Since Farnsworth has become a full-time reliever, he has been effective, albeit with periods of erraticism.

If you conduct a rough calculation of taking his ERA+ at the end of each season since 2001, it comes out to an average 126.4.

His K/9 rates have been outstanding: 10.85 in 2003, 10.53 in 2004, 11.19 in 2005.

His OPS Against numbers have been very good in two out of the last 3 years: .580 in 2003, .769 in 2004, .542 in 2005.

He's definitely a risk due to his periods of volatility, but he could also be very dominant.  Joe Kerrigan > Mel

12.03.2005 From the Boogie Down to the Illadelph

Wise move letting Gordon walk:

1. 38 years old
2. Seriously declining K/9 rates
3. Arm viciously abused by Torre
4. Yankees get two draft picks

See NoMaas offseason idea #4
 

12.01.2005 If cheap, why not?

NoMaas offseason idea #9

He has missed a ton of time in the past couple years.  He has no leverage in negotiations.  But, is it possible that he can still rake?  Sign Nomar to a cheap 1-2 year deal and rotate him around to different positions.  It could be a steal.

Utility guy
 

12.01.2005 Boras: "Johnny Damon is God's gift to mankind."

Boston Herald:

“He’s the ironman of baseball,” Boras said yesterday from Dallas. “What Cal Ripken used to represent, Johnny Damon does today.”

“Johnny Damon is the most durable major league player in the game today,” Boras said. “If he had been on the disabled list three or four times, then OK, what kind of contract are we talking about — two, three years? Yet this guy plays all the time and hard all the time. You have to be unique to talk about a seven-year deal.”

“Johnny Damon is a model physical athlete with a body type that no one else has."

"Boras details his case for Damon in a bound, 10-section, three-ring notebook that he makes for most of his elite clients. It extols Damon in chapters entitled “Best leadoff man in baseball,” “Better than future Hall of Famer Rickey Henderson,” “Elite performer at age 31” and “Franchise Icon.”

"By using Damon’s offensive averages the last four seasons, Boras projects seven years into the future and has Damon entering the 3,000 hit club in 2012 and cracking the all-time top 20 list in runs, hits and doubles. "

And in case Damon decides to play through 2015, when he would be 41, Boras, again using his last four season averages and assuming no dropoffs, shows that Damon would finish third all-time in runs with 2,223 (ahead of Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron) and fifth all-time in hits with 3,619 (ahead of Tris Speaker and Honus Wagner)."

Move over Babe Ruth, here comes Johnny Damon
 
 

11.28.2005 Buy low, sell high

NoMaas offseason idea #8:

Coming into the 2005 season, this pitcher had a career ERA+ of 92 and a career ERA of 4.90.  Suddenly at the tender age of 33, he has a career year with an ERA+ of 139 and an ERA of 3.20.  Did this pitcher suddenly learn how to become an effective pitcher or was this an out-of-context year?  We think the latter.  The Yankees should leverage his recent success and trade him.

11.28.2005 Happy Birthday Mariano
 

11.28.2005 Josh Beckett: "I have no idea how to fix my blister problem."
 

Beckett: "Every time we think we got it figured out (blister problem), another one pops up. Maybe just getting out of heat and getting out of that humidity maybe that might help a little bit…" (Source)

11.25.2005 "Forever my sensei"

RIP Pat Morita, a.k.a Mr. Miyagi.

"Forever my Sensei," Ralph Macchio added, referring to Morita's role in "The Karate Kid." (Source)

One of the greatest movies of all-time
 

11.25.2005 Definition of an "ace"

What is an "ace?"  What constitutes an "ace pitcher?"  NoMaas writer, Brisco County Jr, tackles the question here.
 

11.24.2005 Happy Thanksgiving

11.22.2005 Yankees: "We agree with NoMaas."

"The Yankees apparently had a chance to bid for Beckett when the Marlins called them yesterday, according to three other baseball executives... The Yankees did not want to absorb the $18 million owed Lowell over the next two years, one official said.

Yanks GM Brian Cashman did not return a call seeking comment, but other baseball officials said the Yanks had concerns about Beckett's health." (Source)

Word up, Cash.
 

11.22.2005 This is when you spend the $$$

"Bick (Giles' agent) wouldn't discuss contract figures, but it's believed the Yankees are willing to pay Giles at least $30 million over three years. He's already turned down a three-year, $25.5 million offer from San Diego. Padres' GM Kevin Towers was quoted in the San Diego Union-Tribune Monday saying that he thought Giles and Bick "would give us a little bit of a discount. A little one."

Said Bick: "I don't think there's any question that what we proposed to them reflected that." (Source)

Increase the Giles offer and eliminate the competition!
 

11.22.2005 BoSox trade for injury-prone pitcher, automatic out, and horrible contract

by NoMaas writer, Sensei John Kreese

Before Red Sox fans rejoice and Yankee fans panic, let's take a good look at this trade.  In our opinion, isn't as good for Boston as most people might think it is.

1. To say Josh Beckett is injury-prone is a very large understatement. He has been on the DL 9 times in the last 4 seasons.

2. Josh Beckett is making the switch from the NL East to the hard-hitting AL East.  He will also now be pitching in a bigtime hitter's park.

3. Lowell had an OPS+ of 77 in 2005 with an overall .658 OPS.  His performance was barely over replacement level (VORP of 3.0).  That's like putting Ruben Sierra in your lineup everyday. In trading for Lowell, Boston may have acquired an automatic out.

4. Taking on Mike Lowell's $18 million contract is insanity, especially with his horrible 2005 numbers.  To us, this is the biggest downside for Boston in the deal. The question here is whether Lowell's contract will prohibit the Red Sox from making other moves.  If it does, it could set off a chain reaction that signficantly downgrades Boston's offense.  One doubts that the Red Sox will be able to afford Lowell, Manny, and Damon.

5. Red Sox lose two of their supposed best prospects in a deal that, in Cobra-Kai's opinion, has alot of question marks.  Hanley Ramirez was touted by Red Sox fans as the coming of Christ (and now let's see how they trash him to justify the trade) and Anibal Sanchez was one of their better pitching prospects.  The Red Sox still have some major holes at 1B, 2B, closer, and the OF (not to mention, Renteria for the next 3 years).  With these positions that they need to address, they have lost two of their best trading chips in a deal that has real downside risk.

BoSox fans can look forward to Beckett's trips to the disabled list.
 

11.20.2005 Don't sleep on Dotel

NoMaas offseason idea #7a

Nov. 19: "Dotel, 31, is rehabilitating his right elbow from ligament-replacement surgery in early June. He and his doctors expect him to be able to throw in spring training and to be game ready around opening day, his agent said. Dotel was Oakland's closer at the time of the surgery, which has obviously altered the kind of contract he can command.  Dotel's representative Friday confirmed the Cardinals had called." (Source)

Cash, don't let someone else scoop him up on a low-base, high-incentive deal.
 

11.19.2005 Bob Klapisch, you are an idiot

Crapisch: Giles vs. Damon

"Giles doesn't hit for much power (only 15 home runs in 545 at-bats in 2005) and he's no leadoff hitter."

Giles played in Petco Park which is a horrible hitter's park, but still ripped off an OPS+ of 148 (compared to Damon's 113).  And by the way, a leadoff hitter's job is to get on base.  Giles had a .423 OBP last year (compared to Damon's .366).

"Damon fits the Yankee profile in ways that Giles doesn't - he's a quicker, better defender despite his below-average arm, bats leadoff and is a proven big-market player."

Besides Giles being an extremely better hitter than Damon, Johnny Longhair was the 6th worst fielding CF in baseball last year according to Zone Rating.
 

11.19.2005 Oh poor baby

"Right-hander Carl Pavano, who signed a four-year contract with the Yankees a year ago, has been telling friends he wants out.

A person who spoke with Pavano late in the 2005 season said Pavano was "miserable" with the Yankees and that he would like the team to try to trade him this winter." (Source)

Glass Carl can't handle the Big City.
 

11.19.2005 Lost & Found

Has anyone seen Carl Pavano's...

11.19.2005 Carl Pavano eats jarred sauce

A close source to Carl Pavano has revealed to the media that the "Italian-American" pitcher possesses a large supply of jarred sauce.  When confronted with this information, Yankees manager Joe Torre responded "Get him the hell out of here."

11.17.2005 Giles, Giles, Giles

"Giles's agent, Joe Bick, confirmed in an e-mail message yesterday that Torre has tried to contact Giles, and that Giles planned to call him back yesterday." (Source)
 

Giles is a beast.
 

11.16.2005 Pedreki Matsui gets his "RE$PECT"

Hideki Matsui on his free agency: "...I want to feel that the Yankees really need me. I want to be respected." (Source)

Pedro Martinez on his free agency:  "I want respect, affection and the best possible treatment." (Source)
 

11.16.2005 So much for efficiency

(New York) Apparently wanting to waste more money on below-average veterans, the New York Yankees decided to pick up the $1.5 million option on RP Tanyon Sturtze.  After all, he did have an 94 ERA+, 4.73 ERA, 5.19 K/9 (lowest since 2001), .744 OPS Against and a trip to the DL.  He also is 35 which equates to more dollars in Yankeeland.

What happened to minimum salaried minor leaguers?
 

11.14.2005 A-Rod wins MVP, wins bet

Alex Rodriguez won the 2005 American League MVP award and deservedly so.  Not only did he play the field and steal 21 bases, but he also was better than Shrek in OPS+, VORP, EqA, and just normal OPS even with Ortiz's home park being a little league field.

However, Alex Rodriguez did not just win the MVP.  He won a bet.  According to a NoMaas source inside one of Alex's underground poker clubs, Alex placed a $500,000 bet on himself to win the MVP.

Alex and some lady who has flowers on her shirt.
 

11.14.2005Gammons wrong again

Gammons picked Ortiz to win MVP.
 

11.14.2005 Congrats Chone Figgins...

Not because you received 6 total points in the MVP Award voting (seriously), but because your favorite actor is Sylvester Stallone.

The Greatest of All-Time
 

11.13.2005 New feature added

If you scroll down towards the bottom of the site, you will notice that we've added a Yankees news feed.  It will update automatically with the latest Yankees-related articles found on the net.  It is the most comprehensive Yankees feed that we've found.  Now, you can come to NoMaas and get all the links you need to Yankee news.
 

11.13.2005 That's a whole lot of yen

"According to reports from Newsday on Sunday, the New York Yankees are considering an offer to free agent outfielder Hideki Matsui that would make him the highest-paid Japanese player, exceeding the salary given to the Seattle Mariners' Ichiro Suzuki.

"According to people familiar with their thinking, the Yankees will offer Matsui $50 million over four years, a significant increase over their initial proposal and not that far below some of Matsui's suggestions during spring training," the article said. (Source)

From humble baseball player to cut-throat tycoon
 

11.12.2005 Matsui: "I am a multi-millionaire, but that isn't enough for me."

Despite the Yankees paying him $21 million over the last 3 years, Hideki Matsui apparently has been hanging out with Pedro Martinez.  The "always classy"  Matsui sounded like a spoiled little brat when he made the following comments:

"Absolutely, staying with the Yankees is my top priority," Matsui said. "I wish it would happen, but I want to feel that the Yankees really need me. I want to be respected. If I feel the Yankees do not need me anymore, I am ready [to talk to another team]."

"I'm satisfied I can live in any American cities because of my experience the last three years," Matsui said. "I do not care if it is a popular team or not a popular team. If the team is winning, a lot of fans are going to come to the stadium."  (Source)

Diva.
 

11.09.2005 If you're cool, you'll wear one

Be the most popular kid in school.  Be captain of the football team.  Get that job promotion.  Marry a supermodel.  Win the lottery.  Become a movie star.  Achieve that dream body.  Run a mile in under four minutes.  Bite the head off a chicken.

All these things are possible when you're wearing a NoMaas shirt.

Here's the link to the shirts
 

11.09.2005 Da Pen, cont.

NoMaas offseason idea #7:

About a month ago, we targeted the bullpen as an area where the Yankees could cut costs, get younger, and become more efficient.  We recommended utilizing cheap minor league talent (i.e. Colter Bean, Jason Anderson, etc) to fill certain spots, rather than signing higher-priced mediocre veterans.

We still want to see that.  However, there are some free-agent veterans who could be sprinkled in that would make sense for the Yankees, both economically and otherwise.

1. Octavio Dotel - coming off an injury, his annual salary would probably be low and might sign to an incentive-heavy deal.  Career 125 ERA+, .562 OPS Against vs. righties over the past 3 years, averaged at least 10 K/9 from 2002-2004.

2. Mike Myers - made $600k this season in Boston.  Devastating vs. lefties with a .409 OPS Against (.198 OBP) in 2005.  From 2002-2004, he held lefties to a .595 OPS Against.  Great value if signed to a 1 year, $600k-$900k deal.  Left-handed specialist.

3. Bobby Howry - made $900k last year in Cleveland.  Very solid since being injured in 2003.  166 ERA+ in both 2004 & 2005.  OPS Against righties over the past 3 years was .558.  OPS Against lefties over the past 3 years was .658.  Effective overall.

For the right price and contract length, these veterans could be very useful in addition to the younger guys in the pen.

Mo, BJ Ryan, Dotel/Myers/Howry, Bean, Anderson...solid pen, cost-effective.
 

11.09.2005 Cash: "I run a business here, not a god-damn soup kitchen."

"At this stage, I'm trying to reduce payroll," Yankees general manager Brian Cashman said at the GM meetings in Indian Wells, Calif. "We have a young player who's knocking on the door, Andy Phillips, who's a right-handed bat and provides flexibility to Joe Torre. We're gravitating toward that concept." (Source)

ANDY PHILLIPS!  Now, what has NoMaas been telling you?
 

11.09.2005 Starting to clean house

"The Bombers declined the $3 million option on Martinez yesterday, buying out the fan favorite for $250,000. Martinez, in turn, filed for free agency." (Source)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

11.06.2005 The Giles Watch

"I've had a conversation with Brian (Cashman)," said Joe Bick, Giles' agent. "He said they are assessing what they are going to do and, obviously, Brian is an attractive guy to them and they are interested in talking about him. We have nothing specifically set up, but I'm sure we'll have another conversation."

In the past, Giles has had a no-trade clause covering every team except the five in California plus Colorado and Atlanta, where his brother, Marcus, plays. Bick said Giles would consider everything now, though.

"That won't be an issue," Bick said. "Brian wants to win." (Source)

Brian Giles has the 11th highest career OPS+ (146) among all active players.  Also, he won the Kumite in 1988.
 

11.04.2005 Do you come here often?

Are Nomaas' offseason ideas beginning to penetrate the national media?

George King in today's New York Post:

"That brings us to the Dodgers' Bradley, a talented 27-year-old switch-hitter with power and above average defensive tools that are packed in a suitcase with a lot of emotional baggage.

The Yankees have internally discussed acquiring Bradley, but every time his name is brought up, his problems usually scare Yankee brass in a different direction.

Still, throughout the Joe Torre era, problem players have come to The Bronx and turned into solid citizens. The Yankees were so convinced Torre could handle problems they were on the verge of signing Albert Belle in 1998.

The Dodgers, who are without a GM or a manager, will try to trade Bradley before Dec. 20. If they don't, there is a strong chance he won't be tendered a contract and will become a free agent. "
 

Steve Goldman in the YES Network's Pinstriped Blog:

"Another interesting choice would be Brian Giles, who is already rumored to be on his way to St. Louis. Giles will be 35 in 2006, he's not a great glove, just an average one, but he can still hit —  a lot. His .301/.423/.483 percentages are plenty good on the surface, but they look even better when the hit he took for playing in San Diego's Petco. The "PET" in "Petco" stands for "Pitchers' EnvironmenT." Giles hit .267/.378/.417 at home, .333/.463/.545 on the road. He also saw 3.92 pitches per plate appearance.."
 

11.04.2005 The days of their lives

11.02.2005 Best hitter in the Arizona Fall League

Yankee prospect, Eric Duncan, leads the Arizona Fall League in OPS with a whopping 1.244.

This puts him ahead of Brandon Wood, Lastings Milledge, Ian Stewart, Daric Barton, Stephen Drew, Howie Kendrick, Kendry Morales, Billy Butler, Ryan Garko, Brendan Harris, Matt Kemp, Josh Anderson, Matt Murton, Andy LaRoche, Nick Markakis, Michael Johnson, Jarred Ball, Dan Uggla, Chris Denorfia, Reggie Abercrombie, Jarred Saltalamacchia, Brandon Moss, and Alex Gordon.

But then again, the Yankees have no farm system, right?
 

11.02.2005 Redsox.com Special Offer: Buy 1 DVD, Get 1 DVD Free

Buy "Front Officespace" and get Peter Gammons' debut film for free (ages 18+).

11.02.2005 Boston begins to interview for GM vacancy

With Theo Epstein gone, Red Sox executives began the process of interviewing candidates for the team's general manager position.  NoMaas has obtained a secret recording of one of these interviews.  The transcript is listed below:

Lucchino: You see, what we're trying to do is get a feeling for how people spend their time at work so if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?

Peter Gibbons: Sure.

Lucchino: Great.

Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.

Henry: Da-uh? Space out?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.

Lucchino: I have to say, you're certainly meeting my, er, OUR qualifications to a tee so far!
 

11.02.2005 It feels good to be a gangsta

11.01.2005 Worse than Steinbrenner

"Sunday’s Boston Globe...revealed too much inside information about the relationship between Epstein and Larry Lucchino, and slanted the coverage in the team president’s favor. Epstein, according to these sources, had several reasons to believe Lucchino was a primary source behind the column..." (Source)

Red Sox team patriarch Larry Lucchino
 

11.01.2005 Panic in Beantown

10.31.2005 A huge mess in Boston

And people say that the Yankees have internal problems...

Goodbye Boy Wonder.

10.30.2005 If this is a dream, please don't wake us up

"Along those lines, Joe Kerrigan - who was hired by Cashman as a scout last season - is under serious consideration to be part of the on-field staff next year, according to sources."

Cashman wouldn't comment on specifics regarding the staff, but said Kerrigan "is definitely in the mix in terms of the coaches. Time will tell." (Source)
 

10.30.2005 Hire DePo as Cashman's assistant

NoMaas offseason idea #6

"Twenty months after hiring a general manager who was the standard-bearer for an innovative approach to player evaluation and team building and giving him a five-year contract to implement his philosophy, the Dodgers aborted that plan.

GM Paul DePodesta was fired Saturday by owner Frank McCourt, who called it "a difficult decision" but one he had to make." (Source)

A great baseball mind

10.27.2005 "I'm Ca$hMoney, b*tch!"

Cashman during a WFAN interview on Thursday:

"God help the rest of the 29 other clubs out there."
 

10.26.2005 Cashman: "Today, I settled all family business."

10.25.2005 Yankee nepotism?

"Ron Guidry's attorney yesterday confirmed the Yankees have approached him about becoming pitching coach." (Source)

Since finishing his pitching career in 1988, Yankee great Ron Guidry has been out of baseball and hanging out in the bayous of Louisiana.  Now, he is on the brink of becoming the Yankees next pitching coach, despite having zero coaching experience.  Although the Yankees have a highly-qualified Joe Kerrigan in their organization, Steinbrenner & Co. will most likely employ the unproven Guidry to a very critical coaching position.  When interviewed by NoMaas about Louisiana Lightning, Yankee manager Joe Torre stated, "I like Ron.  We know what he brings to the table and that is great asspatting. A good asspat really makes a difference to our pitchers when they're struggling."

Let's hope Guidry studied pitching mechanics and statistics during his 16-year absence.
 

10.22.2005 Trade Sheff for a CF?  Scratch that idea.

A week ago, NoMaas advocated the idea of signing Brian Giles and then trading Gary Sheffield for a position of need, particularly CF.  Forgetaboutit.  A better option may have presented itself.

We still are 100% behind a Brian Giles signing.  He is simply a beast, one of the best hitters in all of baseball.  However, if we acquire Giles, there may not be a need to trade Sheff for a CF.  Why?  We like problem-child Milton Bradley.

The Dodgers appear to be fed up with his antics and "that almost certainly is going to lead to Bradley being traded or non-tendered this winter." (Source)  Bradley is arbitration-eligible this year.

Before you call the NoMaas staff poo-poo heads for suggesting such an idea, look at the numbers:

Age 27
OPS+* over the past 3 years: 151, 108, 121
OBP over the past 3 years: .421, .362, .350
Zone Rating over the past 3 years (CF defense): .897, .907, .881
2005 salary: $2,500,000 and not likely to increase that much in arbitration

*OPS+ is OPS that is league and park adjusted, 100 being average, the higher the number the better

Yet, he does have injury history and he is supposedly a maniac.  If the Yankees sign Brian Giles, the injury problem can be avoided by moving Matsui to CF, Giles to LF, and Sheff to RF.  In regards to his alleged instability, I think Joe "The Don" Torre would handle him just fine.  As much as NoMaas critiques Torre, he does command respect among the players.

The Dodgers appear to be dumping Bradley and if the Yankees could acquire him on the cheap, he could be a signficant addition and Sheffield would not need to be traded.  The Yankees could have one of the best lineups in MLB history.
 

10.22.2005 Sojo gets whacked

10.22.2005 Thanks Mel

"Here's what White Sox pitching coach Don Cooper, himself a Yankee reject (albeit a lifetime ago), had to say yesterday about the Great Contreras Conversion that has resulted in eight consecutive victories to end the season and a 2-1 postseason record in which he's yielded just two walks and 20 hits in 25 innings: "Basically, we had to remake him. We worked on his delivery to speed him up and get him to hold runners better. He was also tipping his pitches. But most of all we needed to instill confidence in him." (Source)
 

10.22.2005 Cano turns 23

10.20.2005 Pray that Cashman returns

Robinson Cano
- turns 23 on October 22
- OPS+ 102
- likely to improve
- salary: MLB minimum

Torii Hunter
- age 30
- career OPS+ 100
- played only 98 games in 2005 and 138 games in 2004
- fielding may decline due to his recent injuries
- salary: $10,250,000 in 2006

10.20.2005 Randy Levine's Art of Negotiation

In 2002, Yankees president Randy Levine was interviewed by George Washington University Magazine.  In this article, Levine spoke about the art of negotiation:

"Levine explains his three rules for negotiating contracts:
1. Listen more than you talk.
2. Don’t promise what you can’t deliver.
3. Never go back on your word."

During his reign with the Yankees, Levine has added a fourth rule.

4. Overpay for low quality & penny-pinch on high quality.
 
 

10.19.2005 Mazzone puts horse's head in Randy Levine's bed

Leo Mazzone cut off talks with Yankee team president, Randy Levine.  He is no longer a candidate to be the Yankees next pitching coach.

When asked why he stopped discussions with Levine, Mazzone replied, "It's not personal. It's strictly business."

10.19.2005 Let Gordon walk, take draft picks

NoMaas off-season idea #4:

Tom Gordon has done an excellent job for the Yankees during his service time.  One could argue that Gordon to Rivera was the best 1-2 punch in baseball over the past two seasons.  In 2004, Flash registered an ERA of 2.21 and had an ERA+ of 204.  In this past year, he put up a 2.57 ERA with an ERA+ of 173.

(From Hardball Times: ERA+ = ERA measured against the league average, and adjusted for ballpark factors. An ERA+ over 100 is better than average, less than 100 is below average)

Flash is now a free agent.  With him turning 38, a declining K/9, and BJ Ryan on the market, it would be in the Yankees best interest to let Gordon be acquired by another team.  In doing so, the Yankees would acquire 2 picks for the next MLB draft.  Here is how it works:

"Teams receive compensation in the form of draft picks based on the free agents they lose, according to the rating system established by Elias Sports Bureau: a Type A free agent ranked among the top 30 percent of major leaguers at his position, a Type B free agent ranked among the top half (but not the top 30 percent) of major leaguers at his position, and a Type C free agent ranked among the next 10 percent of major leaguers at his position.

A team that loses a Type A free agent gets the first-round pick of the team that signs the free agent and a supplemental pick after the first round. A team that loses a Type B free agent receives only the signing team's top pick.

In both cases, a team selecting in the first half of the draft rotation cannot lose its first-round pick. Such a team would instead lose its second-round pick." (Source)

Due to Gordon's excellent performance over the past two years, it is safe to assume that he would be a Type A free agent.  Thus, the Yankees would acquire two early draft picks.

With David Stern's new dress code, Gordon will not be able to cover his entire face with his hat.
 

10.19.2005 Email Umpire Joe West

umpirejoewest@aol.com

His website: http://www.umpirejoewest.com
 

10.17.2005 Look at the minors to fill bullpen

NoMass off-season idea #3:

One of the biggest problems with the Yankees is fiscal inefficiency.  George and Co. have developed a reputation for overpaying mediocre, replacement level, and sub-replacement level talent.  To name a few, just look at Paul Quantrill, Felix Heredia, Tony Womack, Jaret Wright, and Ruben Sierra.  The list could continue.

The Yankees need to run their organization like a corporation.  They need to eliminate waste and run a tighter book.  By allocating resources properly, the Yankees can become the dominant machine that they should be.

One of the areas that we believe could be streamlined is the bullpen.  Nearly the entire bullpen is up for free agency.  Instead of re-signing or acquiring higher-priced veteran players who will provide average or below-average production, the Yankees should look to their farm system for cheap alternatives that will offer equal or better performance.

Why pay Felix Heredia $1.8 million a year when you can call up Colter Bean, who has put up ridiculous minor league numbers, and pay him the major league minimum.

What about Jason Anderson, who had a 2.66 ERA at Columbus this year?

Plus, if minor league starters aren't going to crack the rotation, what about converting those starters to relievers?  Try Sean Henn as a left-handed specialist if he isn't going to get a chance to start at the major league level.

It makes no sense paying veterans million dollar contracts when the Yankees can get similar or better production from cheap minor league talent.

This will allow the Yankees to allocate more money to other areas and/or competitive situations like BJ Ryan.
 

10.17.2005 Let these guys go

NoMaas off-season idea #2:

Tino Martinez (FA) - $2.75 million for a .767 OPS
John Flaherty (FA) - $800,000 for a .458 OPS
Tony Womack (trade or release) - $2,000,000 for a .556 OPS
Ruben Sierra (FA) - $1.5 million for a .636 OPS

10.17.2005 Yanks get permission to talk to God of Pitching

"The Yankees have received permission to speak with Braves pitching coach Leo Mazzone, targeting him as their top choice to replace Mel Stottlemyre." (Source)

According to Sabernomics, Mazzone "shaves off between .55 and .85 points of a pitcher’s ERA."

Open up the wallet, George.
 

10.17.2005 NoMaas Telethon

"To replace Stottlemyre, the Yankees have set their sights on the Braves' Leo Mazzone...

Mazzone figures to be the most difficult to pry away, but one person who has spoken with him recently said, "If they throw a lot of money at him, he'll go there."

Mazzone's contract expires sometime next month according to his agent, Todd Thrasher." (Source)

To donate, please call 1-800-IWOULDDOCARTWHEELSIFWEGOTMAZZONE
 

10.17.2005 Ruben sniffs glue?

"If Sierra is forced to leave, he said he can be a full-time starter again somewhere, capable of 30 homers and 100 RBIs." (Source)

Uh, ok.

Note: This is not a doctored picture.  This is for real?!?!
 

10.15.2005 Trade Sheff for a CF, sign Brian Giles

NoMaas' first of several off-season ideas:

Gary Sheffield is a NoMaas favorite.  However, there are glaring weaknesses that the Yankees have that Sheffield could be used to address.  Sheff is entering the last year of his 3yr-$39 million deal, with some of the money being deferred until a future date.  Although he will be 37, Sheffield remains one of the game's superior hitters (132 OPS+ in 2005).  With one year left on his deal and still being a very productive hitter, he is probably one of the team's most tradeable assets.

With the Yankees possessing a gaping hole in CF, Sheff could be used to solidfy that position for the next few years, or at least until Melky Cabrera is ready.  Names mentioned recently have been Toronto's Vernon Wells (age 27) and Chicago's Aaron Rowland (age 28).

Vernon Wells would be our choice, only if the Yankees do not have to part with a top prospect.

Wells only has two years left on his deal for a total of $9.9 million.  He plays excellent defense and has a decent bat (108 career OPS+, .811 OPS).

Trading Sheff would create a hole in RF and also weaken the offense.  Thus, the Yankees should target free-agent Brian Giles, who is a beast at the plate.  In fact, one could argue that he would be more productive than Sheffield.

Giles vs. Sheffield in 2005:

148 OPS+ vs. 132 OPS+
.326 EqA vs. .314 EqA
65.1 VORP vs. 56.6 VORP
.423 OBP vs. .379 OBP

Giles also led the NL in BB and is nearly 3 years younger than Sheffield.  If the Yankees can acquire Giles, Sheffield should become expendable.

Even if the Yankees can't find a fair deal for Sheff, Giles should still be a target.  Sheff & Giles could split time at DH/OF.

Discuss.
 

Hopefully Sheff doesn't look at NoMaas.
 

10.13.2005 Bob Klapisch: "You don't need to do any research or have any qualifications to be a baseball writer."

Yankee "expert" Bob Klapisch revealed in an October 13th piece that it doesn't take much effort to write ridiculous articles about the Yankees and pass yourself off as a serious journalist.

"That's the way one American League executive summarized A-Rod's disturbingly uneven performance: good enough for MVP-like numbers in the regular season, but an abysmal failure in October, just like Winfield. "George is stuck with him," is what the executive said of Rodriguez."

"Stuck" with a player who this season tied a career-high for OPS+ (167)* and an overall OPS of 1.031.  "Stuck" with a player who created 151 runs*.  "Stuck" with a player who plays solid defense.  "Stuck" with a player that has successfully stolen bases at an 80% clip throughout his career.

*according to Baseball-Reference.com

Klapisch continues:

Five more years, $131 million, to be exact.

Bob must have forgotten that Texas is picking up a signficant chunk of that deal.  It's ok.  Just an oversight.

10.13.2005 NoMaas' Marvin the Marvelous Mormon vs. Newsday's Jon Heyman

Jon Heyman's article "Meet the 2006 Yankees": Click
Marvin the Marvelous Mormon's response: Click

Jon Heyman and his crabs
 

10.13.2005 The Italian Stallion

On Joe Girardi and his interview with Tampa:

The description of a manager laid out by the new Rays officials - bright, energetic, egoless, values statistical data, open to new ideas - fits Girardi so well it almost seems they were talking about him.

For example, the Rays plan to put an emphasis on things such as statistics, trends and computerized scouting data. Girardi, who studied engineering at Northwestern, said he can't spend enough time looking over that kind of stuff.

"I do it a lot," he said. "I love tendencies. I love numbers." (Source)

Fire Torre and eat his remaining contract, hire Girardi, and pay him with this.
 

10.13.2005 Baby Bomber: Eric Duncan

Through six games in the Arizona Fall League, Yankee prospect Eric Duncan has the following statline:

.536 OBP / 1.185 SLG / 1.721 OPS
5 HRs in 27 ABs

Wow.

10.12.2005 NoMaas plans for the off-season

NoMaas was launched on May 30, 2005 and as of 6pm on October 12th, the site had received 1.84 million hits with 16,972 unique visitors.  The NoMaas staff would like to thank you for your support and we hope that you continue to visit.

Even though the season is over, NoMaas will still be up and running.  Due to the absence of games, there will probably be times throughout the fall and winter when NoMaas slows down.  However, we do have many things planned for the coming months.  We will be following off-season transactions, front office changes, coaching changes, and other Yankee news.

However, you will also see more commentary and analysis from the NoMaas writers. We will tell you what we would do with $200 million.

We also plan on distributing fresh fruit to every 100th visitor to the site.  If you believe you are entitled to fresh fruit, please contact NoMaas.
 

10.12.2005 One down

Mel Stottlemyre: "It's time for me to go." (Source)
 

10.12.2005 Teach your children to...

Don't even let them get the idea in their head.  It isn't good for you.

Career: OPS+ 87 (can't hit), OPS .730, Stolen Base Success Rate 73% (only that % for his speed?)
 
 

10.11.2005 Don't let the door hit you on the way out

Mel Stottlemyre's status with the Yankees has fallen under much speculation during the past several seasons.  His signature "patting of the buttocks" has not been effective in correcting mechanical issues, particular with young pitchers.  Mel defiantly addressed that speculation in an interview:

"I'm not sure I'm going to retire; that's all I'm going to say," Stottlemyre said.

"I'm reasonably sure I'm not going to be back here," he added. "After all, I almost got fired in midseason. I'm surprised to last this long." (Source)

In his first fullyear post-Mel, Contreras had an 123 ERA+, 3.61 ERA, 1.23 WHIP, .678 OPS Against, & 2.05 K/BB.
 

10.11.2005 Why does A-Rod get all the blame?

A-Rod's ALDS On-Base Percentage: .435
A-Rod ALDS Men-Left-On-Base: 6

Gary Sheffield ALDS Men-Left-On-Base: 17
Hideki Matsui ALDS Men-Left-On-Base: 14

Joe Sheehan of Baseball Prospectus makes another great point:

Derek Jeter hit a home run Friday with the Yankees down four runs. He hit one last night with the team down three. The one last night was pointed to, by the game broadcasters as well as the ones on "SportsCenter," as evidence of his "clutchness."

Not for nothing, but why is it if Alex Rodriguez hits a solo homer with the Yankees down by a bunch, it's evidence that he's a stat-padding loser, but when Jeter does it, it's clutch?

It's just another example of the double standard in place for the two players. Neither covered themsleves in glory in the series--the statistical difference between the two is those two Jeter home runs, whose value seems to be entirely in who hit them--yet Jeter comes out as Captain Intangible while Rodriguez, whose back is still a bit sore from carrying the team in the '04 Division Series, for which he got no credit, is the choke artist.

It ain't right.
 

10.11.2005 God help us all

The eye of the storm is approaching.
 

10.11.2005 Thanks for the memories
 

Career: 127 OPS+, .864 OPS, .384 OBP, .480 SLG, homegrown, and a class act.
 

10.11.05 Our only hope

Cashman quotes during the season:

"We have to get back to doing what made the Yankees so good for such a long period beginning in the '90s," said Cashman. "We're in the position we're in because we stopped developing our own young players."

"... storm clouds are on the horizon if we keep just staying old," Cashman said. "You've got to reinvent yourself with youth and mix them in with the veterans, instead of going all veterans."

"I'm not looking to trade these guys [Cano & Wang], because we do have to be younger, and trading them for some quick fix is contrary to the long-term goal that's necessary here," Cashman said. "But we take every decision at that moment in time and weigh it. I'm not interested in moving these guys, but at the same time, they don't have any no-trades, and I don't make all the decisions."
 

10.09.05 Speed kills

10.09.05 Saint Mo

Patron Saint of Castrating Hitters
 

10.09.05 Missing

Going into Game 4, the Yankees had a .772 OPS in the ALDS.  It is probably lower after Game 5.

10.09.05 It beats Colorado, doesn't it?

6.1 innings, 5K, 4H, 2R, flight to California

(AP Photo/Kathy Willens)
 

10.09.05 Sorry 2005
 

Our apologies, Rube.  You're our idol.

10.09.2005 How are we losing?

Chone Figgins - .749 OPS
Orlando Cabrera - .674 OPS
Garrett Anderson - .743 OPS
Juan Rivera - .770 OPS
Darin Erstad - .696 OPS
Adam Kennedy - .724 OPS

Angels 2005 Team OPS - .733
 
 
 
 

Torre-san, does Ruben Sierra have naked pictures of you or something?

10.08.2005 Disappointing

Don't worry, he only has $32 million left on his deal.
 

10.07.2005 Torre expecting Unit to throw perfect game with 27Ks

Joe Torre is extremely confident going into tonight's playoff game with Randy Johnson on the mound.  So confident is Torre that he will likely include two automatic outs in the Yankee batting order and will also be putting a "Hit It Here" sign in CF.

Torre revealed on a conference call today that John Flaherty (.458 OPS) will catch for Johnson and Ruben Sierra (.636 OPS) will serve as designated hitter.  Additionally, Bernie Williams will be occupying the centerfield position while superior defender Bubba Crosby picks splinters out of his buttocks.  Jorge Posada will also remain on the bench and not even serve as designated hitter because Ruben Sierra has more experience as a DH.

Direct quotes from Torre:

"I'm not discounting [Posada as a DH]," Torre said on a conference call Thursday. "But we'll look and decide what our options are against [Angels starter Paul] Byrd and go from there. Right now, the first five guys will stay the same and then we'll arrange it from there on out. I'm not saying [Posada] won't be the DH, but I think it's doubtful."

Sierra is likely, Torre said, "because he's probably the most adept at it. He's had the most experience. You know, he loves the pressure and all that. He certainly would be a consideration. I think he would be the first consideration, and then you work out and match them up from there."

"But again, we want to get [Sierra] involved because we know what he can bring to the table, especially being a switch-hitter, and they don't have a left-hander coming out of the bullpen. The fact that Ruben has been down this road before, he would probably be the No. 1 guy we would look at."  (Source)
 

10.07.2005 The Greatest Show on Earth

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, people of all ages...welcome to the Boston Red Sox Circus!

In the outside rings, we have Johnny Damon complaining about his contract, Keith Foulke insulting Boston fans, Kevin Millar doing Kentucky Fried Chicken commercials, the front office taking cheap shots at departed players, and Curt Schilling whining over a teammate.

And now, please direct your attention to the center ring.  Back by popular demand, the Boston Red Sox Circus is proud to present Manny Ramirez with another trade demand! (Source)

10.07.2005 Red Sox return to Fenway, try to avoid sweep
 

The Red Sox board their bus as they leave Chicago's US Cellular Field.
 

10.05.2005 Yankees take the night off

According to NoMaas sources, the Yankees forgot that there was a game on Wednesday night.  It showed as they dropped Game 2 to the Sacramento Fresno Oakland San Diego San Fransisco Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

Instead of playing in Game 2, Alex Rodriguez went to DisneyLand.
 

10.04.2005 Thank you, Mike Scioscia

Hitting 2nd for the Angels: Orlando Cabrera, .309 OBP
Hitting 3rd for the Angels: Garret Anderson, .308 OBP

Not down with OBP

10.04.2005 Which Mussina will show up?

10.04.05 Bubba

In a move to upgrade the outfield's most important position, Torre is starting Bubba Crosby in CF while Bernie DHs.  Yankees fans can now return from church.

10.04.05 The "experts" love Small Balls.

Due to their raging love affair with Mike Scioscia, ESPN "experts" have overwhelmingly picked the Angels to win the ALDS with the Yankees.

Nice tie.
 

10.03.05 ALDS Preview

Bartolo Colon sports an ERA of 8.44 versus the Yankees this year.
 

10.04.05 Schilling: A Historical Perspective

Despite standing ovations from the Fenway frat kids after he has let up 5 runs,  Curt Schilling has had a horrendous year.  The NoMaas research department has discovered that, when adjusting for ERA. Schilling's 2005 is right up there with Gene Bearden's 1949, Bob Friend's 1954, Les Sweetland's 1931, and Joe Coleman's 1975.

Gene Bearden, 5.10 ERA in 127 IP, 1949 Cleveland Indians

Bob Friend, 5.07 ERA in 170.1 IP, 1954 Pittsburgh Pirates

Les Sweetland, 5.04 ERA in 130.1 IP, 1931 Chicago Cubs

Joe Coleman, 5.55 ERA in 201 IP, 1975 Detroit Tigers

Schilling has pitched like crap this year.
 

10.03.05 NoMaas Limited Time Offer

Attention Red Sox fans!  In addition to wearing corny red bracelets which somehow verify your fandom, NoMaas is offering these very special cards that you can keep in your wallet.  Next time you are arrested for flipping over cars or setting trash cans on fire, just show the officer that you are a member of Wild Card Nation.  Everything should be OK.
 

10.03.2005 Wooo!!  We finished in second!

Red Sox celebrate blowing division lead and finishing in second place.

(Reuters)

10.03.2005 Red Sox fans in state of denial

Shouldn't they be holding up two fingers?

10.02.05 Finish them off, don't rest the regulars

During an interview last week of WFAN, Joe Torre stated that he would still use his regular players on the series finale even if the Yankees had already clinched the division.  His reasoning was sound.  The Red Sox are far too explosive and if one has a chance to eliminate them from the playoffs, it is a path that should be pursued.

However, during an post-game interview on Fox, Torre answered "Yeah, probably" when asked if he would give the regulars a day off.

As Sensei John Kreese told Johnny Lawrence in Karate Kid, "an enemy deserves no mercy."

Off with their heads, Joe!!
 

10.01.05 Things are back to normal, Red Flops blow division again

YANKEES WIN THE AL EAST!!

Peter Gammons jumps off Tobin Bridge.
ESPN employees put on suicide watch.
New York Times in a state of panic.
Yankee rookies make Baseball America look like the National Enquirer.
Varitek starts a fight with a girl and keeps his mask on this time too.
David Ortiz drinks a milkshake while Red Sox play the field.
 

Rejects.
 

10.01.05 Unit dominant despite getting squeezed

Randy Johnson went 7 innings and struck out 8 while battling against Red Sox hitters and umpire Gary Darling.  Even with assistance from Darling, Boston hitters were ineffective against the Big Unit.  Even Most Valuable Designated Hitter, David Ortiz, looked helpless at times during his at-bats.

Gary, did you bet money on this game?

10.01.05 Red Sox go grocery shopping after the game

09.30.2005 Dear Joe Torre

09.30.2005 Yanks bend over for Boston

09.30.2005 Bring it

09.30.2005 Sox have difficult time beating sub-.500 team

The Sox bring poor starting pitching, a horrifc bullpen, and a struggling offense to the final series
 

09.28.2005 Advantage: Yankees

09.28.2005 Canada conquers Fenway Park

On Wednesday, Canadian Mounties stormed down Lansdowne Street and took control of Fenway Park.  The conquering Canadians were commanded by Corporal Ted Lilly and Sergeant Frank Catalanotto.  The Red Sox resistance was led by lead gunner Bronson Arroyo, but he kept missing his targets.  It was a lopsided victory for our neighbors from the North, however, it did not prevent David Ortiz from eating 15 Fenway franks.

09.28.2005 Cue the violin

From the Boston Globe:

''Purely on a professional level, this year has been by far the hardest for me of my career," Schilling said. ''It has been very, very painful."

''My heart is hurting because he's not the same person and I don't know how to help him," Shonda Schilling said yesterday from the family's home in Medfield. ''I don't ever remember feeling as happy for him as I feel badly for him now. It's a horrible feeling."

''He looked like a kid who has chicken pox," Shonda [Schilling] said, ''and has to sit at the window and watch everybody playing outside."

09.27.05 Phew!

09.27.05 Hunting season

Bad Moose
 

09.27.05 Madness

1. The relief pitching was terrible, but Torre let every situation get out of hand.

2.  As soon as Leiter walked the leadoff man in the 4th inning,  the bullpen should have been up and a visit should have been made to the mound.

3. Torre on Al Leiter in a post-game interview: "We know he's capable."

4. Down four runs in the 5th, Torre concedes the game by putting in Wayne Franklin.

5. When you only "trust" 2-3 pitchers in your bullpen all year, what do you expect will happen you finally decide to use the other relievers?

6. Torre has completely cooked Tanyon Sturtze.

7. Here are some of Felix Rodriguez's career numbers:

8.00 K/9
0.683 OPS Agains
122 ERA+

Yet, he has been rendered useless due to Torre's unwillingness to pitch him on any regular basis.
 

09.27.2005 EA reissues video game with new cover

Alex Rodriguez: 2-3, 2B, 3 RBI, 2 BB, 1 SB, 1 excellent play at 3B

Seriously, how can you even argue?
 

09.27.2005 Be afraid.  Be very afraid.

Randy Johnson's last 7 starts: 44 innings, 36 K, 24 hits, 1.63 ERA
 

09.27.2005 Are you kidding me?

Giambi's OBP
 

09.26.2005 Summoning the ghosts of Blue Jays past

Be good again, like you once were.  Lift the spirits of your beloved Canadians.  Your country needs you.
 

09.25.2005 Birds lay an egg

09.24.2005 Captain Intangibles?

Quotes from Red Sox fans on various message boards.  These are EXACT quotes.

"Let us not forget about the intangibles in the clubhouse where anyone Ortiz comes in contact with loves him. Ortiz is part of the glue that holds the Red Sox together inside the clubhouse and on the field."

"For once in baseball, numbers will not give you the answer. No, don't look at numbers, look at everything else. Look at the personality Mr. Ortiz brings to the game. His leisurely saunter to the plate makes it look like he is approaching his mailbox for the daily mail. And the smile, that alone should win the title. I have yet to see another MLB player with such a smile."

"I'm going to go one step further and pronounce Papi as the Greatest Cluch Hitter Ever! "

"Arod has gotten the 1st runs on the board to get an early lead, not as important as a game winning hit."

"A-Rod is not a good person or a model professional athlete."
 

09.22.2005 Now available in your local supermarket

09.22.2005 Day off for Boston

On Thursday, Trot caught some sun at Boston's Revere Beach
 

09.22.2005 Wells: "Ortiz should win the MVP because he is funny."

David Wells on David Ortiz: "There's no (expletive) question what he means to this team. (The MVP) is David Ortiz...He makes people laugh on the bus and at the park." (Source)

09.21.2005 Save the women and children first

9.21.2005 Pole position

09.21.2005 Lower your flags

8 innings, 1 run, first place

1
09.19.2005 Just like the ones we used to know...

09.19.2005 Welcome back, Wang

8 innings, 2 earned runs
 

09.19.2005 Shrek campaigns for MVP

Instead of letting his game speak for itself, David Ortiz has officially announced his candidacy for Most Valuable Player and has hit the campaign trail.

Making a speech from his campaign HQ at McDonalds in Boston's Kenmore Square, Ortiz proclaimed, "What's the toughest thing to do in this game? Hit, right? [Voters] don't think about that. That's all I do. If I don't hit, I lose my job."  He continued, "they don't think a DH can win the MVP." (Source)

Ortiz had no comment on rising gas prices.

Ortiz at McDonalds with his campaign director
 

09.16.2005 The most important meal of the day
 

Rookie sensation blasts grand slam on Thursday and hits two more HRs Friday night.
 

09.16.2005 "And they're not taking 'no' for an answer."

Rays DH Johnny Gomes: "...they're the Yankees and they're here now. They mean business. And they're not taking no for an answer." (Source)

09.15.2005 Eye of the tiger

1.5 games behind Boston, .5 games behind Cleveland
 

09.15.2005 Here's to you, Mr. Robinson

Robinson Cano: 3-5, Grand Slam, 3B, 2B, 5 RBIs
 

09.15.2005 NoMaas Poster of the Month

This month's winner:

Red Sox troll with IP address of 208.46.128.82

Silly quotes by this month's winner taken from the NoMaas comments board:

"heck even tino has won more games then arod."

"arod will hit 3 Hrs in a game and then do nothing for the next 2 weeks. i've seen it."

"if the yankees didnt have arod they would have about 2 or 3 less wins.  the sox without ortiz...well they would prob be in 4th place in the division.  think about it arod hits into double plays and is one of the least clutch hitters in the game today. "

Never allow a child to operate a computer without  parental supervision.

Honorable mention: IP address 66.11.2.58, 66-11-2-58.orf.contbb.net:

"The cheater of the year award goes hands down to G-roid, his only compatition is Raf-roid ."

Check out how he spells "competition."

IP addresses of other Red Sox trolls:

66.65.70.8, cpe-66-65-70-8.nyc.res.rr.com
70.161.72.50, ip70-161-72-50.hr.hr.cox.net
99.68.65.225, tx-node2.gmacm.com
 

09.14.2005 Flash

One huge out in the 7th, perfect 8th
 

09.13.2005 Hallelujah!!

Torre puts the Yankees' best 5 hitters in the first 5 spots in the batting order!!


 
 

09.12.2005 Yet he signed with Boston?

On September 9th, Red Sox pitcher Keith Foulke conducted an on-air interview for WEEI Boston and made the following comments about New York City:

"I still hate it.  It's busy, loud, and obnoxious."  (Source)

09.12.2005 Coming of age

Robinson Cano in September: .500 OBP / .571 SLG / 1.071 OPS
 

09.11.2005 A Nightmare at Tropicana?

Can we please beat Tampa?
 

09.11.2005 95 North

The I-95 North New England Throughway toll.  Picture taken from Kevin Millar's camera after the Yankees took 2 out of 3 from Boston.
 

09.11.2005 Patriots win season opener, fans chant "Yankees suck"

With a victory over the Oakland Raiders in the season opener, Patriots fans celebrated by not cheering for their own football team, but rather, erupted in a "Yankees Suck" chant.  This continues a Boston area tradition of fixating on the Yankees at non-baseball events.

From left to right: Sully, Smitty, O'Malley, McNamara, & McFadden
 

09.08.2005 Who's your daddy?

09.08.2005 Vegas

NoMaas has returned from Las Vegas and we brought back some interesting information.

Odds on winning the World Series (as of 9/2/05):

St. Louis 9/5
Boston 7/2
ChiSox 4/1
Yankees 9/2
Oakland 5/1
Braves 6/1
Angels 8/1
Astros 10/1
Marlins 15/1
Indians 20/1
Mets 30/1

Tampa Bay 9999/1
 

08.31.2005 Hurricane Katrina

At NoMaas, we tend to get worked up about things like Torre's lineup construction, Tony Womack, and the mismanagement of the bullpen.  However, in all reality, these things are meaningless.

Right now, we are witnessing one of the worst disasters in the history of the United States.  One of America's greatest cities is underwater.  Families have been destroyed.  Many have lost all of their possessions.  People are trapped without food and drinking water.  The death toll continues to rise.

These are the things that we should get worked up about.  These are the things that we should get upset over.  We should all take a moment and try to digest the severity of the damage that Hurricane Katrina has caused.  Just because this may not be in your backyard, you should still deeply care about this.  We are all Americans.

We ask you to help in any way that you can.  Pray.  Donate money.  Even if you can only donate $1.00, do it.  If you work, see if your company matches donations.  Many firms do.  Do whatever you can.  Don't ignore this.  Imagine your city completely underwater.  If it happened to you, would you want people to help?

These are some organizations that accept online donations:

American Red Cross - http://www.redcross.org
Operation Blessing - http://www.ob.org
America's Second Harvest - http://www.secondharvest.org
 

08.31.2005 Cashman to the rest of the league: "I'm your worst nightmare."

It isn't that Matt Lawton and Mark Bellhorn are great players.  No one expects the Yankees to be carried by these two guys.  Rather, Ca$hMoney is fine-tuning this team and addressing its weaknesses.

Matt Lawton moves Bernie Williams out of the outfield and into a DH role.  This will save runs.  Lawton also takes away at-bats from Bubba Crosby and also Tony Womack, who is the worst offensive player in the American League.

Mark Bellhorn takes away at-bats from Felix Escalona.

These are good things.
 

08.31.2005 Moose, did you show them your knuckle-curve?

08.31.2005Jason Giambi and the Lineup of Doom

08.30.2005 A shave and a haircut

Before you go crazy, examine this move for what it is.  Who would you rather have hitting:  Mark Bellhorn or Felix Escalona?
 

08.28.2005 Jason

08.28.2005 And people say that the Yankees pitching is bad...

08.28.2005 Closing in

Sox blow 6-run lead, Yanks 1.5 games back.
 

08.27.2005 Just like the old days

3-4, 2 HRs, 4 RBI
 

08.27.2005 A-Rod hits #38, puts entire team on his back

08.26.2005 Schilling better at giving interviews than pitching

.910 OPS Against
(every hitter becomes Gary Sheffield)

6.89 ERA

1.55 WHIP

$14,500,000 annual salary
 
 
 
 
 
 

08.25.2005 When people say you can't pitch in New York, tell them about...

08.24.2005 The 2-hole

Torre reshuffled the Yankee lineup moving Hideki Matsui to the 2-hole.  Why?

"Second has been a spot that we've been messing around with," Torre said. "He's one of our better hitters, so we wanted to give him an extra at-bat." (Source)

Interestingly enough, Tony Womack has made more plate appearances at the 2-hole than at any other position in the batting order.  He has made 142 PAs at #2.  But then again, "he's one of our better hitters, so we wanted to give him an extra at-bat."
 

08.22.2005 Mind-boggling

ESPN.COM Poll: Results as of 8/22/05, 10:05pm

Q: Who most deserves to be on the hot seat in New York?

50.7% Players not playing up to potential
33.9% Front office for personnel moves
6.20% Ownership for level of support and commitment
4.70% Joe Torre for managerial decisions or style
4.50% Fans with unrealistic expectations

Only 4.70%...
 

8.22.2005 Cowardly Carl?

Source: Newsday

"The idea is going around that the case of Carl Pavano's shoulder was solved. Well, not exactly. All three surgeons who examined him found no structural problems. One radiologist suggested he may have seen a problem spot somewhere between the shoulder and elbow, but it was not spotted by the three surgeons...

If a player has pain and can't pitch effectively, you give him the benefit of the doubt. But this news certainly doesn't allay questions that were already in the clubhouse about whether Pavano is right for New York."
 
 
 

08.21.2005 Randy stinks

 

08.21.2005 Cashman sought by authorities in robbery investigation

Colorado authorities are looking to question Yankees GM Brian Cashman due to his possible involvement in the theft of Shawn Chacon.  Chacon, 27, was acquired by New York on July 29th and has pitched incredibly.  In 33 innings, he has a 1.64 ERA.

The Yankees gave Colorado two minor leaguers in exchange for a young pitcher who could be a staple in the rotation for years to come.  If you have any information on Cashman's whereabouts, please call the Colorado State Police.

The Colorado Rockies released this surveillance video.  Is this Cashman?
 

08.19.2005 The Torre Lessons

Lesson #1

08.19.2005 Gordon: "I can't pitch everyday."

Source: NY Times

Gordon said Tuesday that he was experiencing a dead arm.."I can't go every day," Gordon said. "I wish I could."

And what about Tanyon?

Sturtze seemed to be muscling the ball, attempting to generate velocity that was not coming naturally.

08.17.2005 The New York Yankees: Making Bad Pitchers Look Good Since 2005

Doug Waechter: Career ERA 5.21, Career ERA+ 88
vs. the Yankees:  9.0 innings, 1 earned run, 106 pitches
 

08.16.2005 Gifted

Another night, another home run...Alex Rodriguez continued his assault on American League pitching by hitting his 36th HR vs. Tampa Bay.  A-Rod now leads the AL in OPS (1.033) and VORP (66.7).

However, despite these statistical accolades, Alex is not a True Yankee.  I think we would all take Eric Hinske over A-Rod anyday.

08.16.2005 Jaret impresses in return

In his return to the rubber, Yankee pitcher Jaret Wright pitched 6 1/3 innings while allowing only 4 hits and 2 runs in a 5-2 victory over the Devil Rays. Tampa Bay's bats were kept silent by the oft-injured hurler.

Devil Rays DH King Hippo stated about Wright, "Do you like my new trunks? They are size XXX Large! Ha Ha Ha!"  However, Tampa's manager Piston Honda was not pleased that Jaret hit two D-Rays' batters, "You should wear a helmet when you fight me!"

Wright celebrates after striking out Travis Lee
 

08.15.2005 Wright returns from rehab, will start against Tampa

For the first time in nearly four months, Jaret Wright will be taking the mound for the Yanks.  Wright, who was signed by the Yankees even though he failed his first physical, has been out with a right shoulder strain.

Wright during his rehab.
 

08.11.2005 No defensive replacement for Bernie?

Bernie Williams makes the last out in the bottom of the ninth.  For the top of the 10th, one would assume that Torre would make a defensive substitution, replacing the aging center fielder with Bubba Crosby.  Alas, he does not.  White Sox SS, Juan Uribe, hits a catchable ball that Bernie cannot track down.  It falls for a triple.  Uribe then scores on a ground ball to second.  Yankees lose.

Stupid is as stupid does.
 

08.11.2005 Now playing in theaters everywhere...

Still hitting 6th
 

08.10.2005 Steinbrenner rips Torre, remodels dugout

We all know that Yankees owner, George Steinbrenner, publicly critiqued Joe Torre's decision to leave Alan Embree in against Paul Konerko.  However, NoMaas' investigative team has discovered that The Boss had a new sign installed into the Yankees dugout, specifically directed at "Four Rings™".

08.09.2005 The Best Around

Mo: 0.92 ERA, .401 OPS Against, 9.92 K/9, 0.73 WHIP
 

08.07.2005 Where in the batting order would you put the best hitter in the American League?

Jason Giambi now leads the American League with an OPS of 1.021.  Where would you hit him?

08.07.2005 Torre discovers fire, burns bullpen

With a 6-0 lead over Toronto, Joe Torre elected to use his best relievers in a game that was already decided.  Tanyon Sturtze, who has already pitched in more games this season than in any other year of his career, continued to show his fatigue as his velocity appeared to be signficantly decreased.  Tom Gordon also looked weak as he allowed two hits and one run in 1.1 innings.

The Yankees have two days off from here to October 3rd: Thursday, August 18th and not again until the second week of September.  As Torre continues to use the Yankees' best relievers in inappropriate situations, the bullpen becomes more of a liability for this team.
 

08.06.2005 NoMaas Breaking News: Dbacks Scammed Yankees

The blockbuster trade that sent the game's best pitcher to the Yankees has been revealed to be a major scam.  After another horrible "Johnson" start versus Toronto, Yanks GM Brian Cashman received an anonymous phone call stating that the Bronx Bombers had been fooled.

"The caller told me that the Dbacks had the real Randy Johnson frozen in carbonite for future use.  Upon doing some research, I realized that Arizona had given us Randolph Johnstone.  Randolph is the complete opposite of Randy.  He's polite, refined, groomed, likes Beethoven, and does not enjoy making hitters look foolish." Cashman told NoMaas.

Cashman has filed a complaint with Commissioner Bud Selig.  However, if MLB follows normal procedure, they will do what they can to stick it to the Yankees.

Randolph Johnstone
 

08.06.2005 You can't stop Aaron Small...

You can only hope to contain him.

Aaron Small coming up big since his promotion: 3-0, 3.15 ERA
 

08.05.2005 Incredible

Two more HRs, OPS now over 1.000...Can we please move him up in the batting order?
 

8.03.2005 Let's play: WHEEL-OF-RELIEF

Today's contestant is Al Leiter.

Host: "Mr. Leiter, here is the situation.  You have pitched 2 innings and walked 5 batters, including the first three hitters to start off the 3rd.  You have shown no command of the strike zone.  What will Joe Torre do?"

Leiter: "He will leave me in."
Host: "That is correct and you will proceed to let up a base-clearing double to Ronnie Belliard."
 

08.03.2005 Giambi leads AL in EqA

According to Baseball Prospectus, Jason Giambi is leading the American League in EqA (Equivalent Average).  Giambi currently has an EqA of .347.

EqA: A measure of total offensive value per out, with corrections for league offensive level, home park, and team pitching (from Baseball Prospectus).

08.03.2005 NoMaas Poster of the Month

When we added our comments board, our goal was to provide a mechanism in which people could offer their opinions on this site.  Not only has that been the case, but some visitors have provided wonderful insight into the baseball world.  The value that they have brought is remarkable.  Thus, in recognition of these analytical minds, we present to you the NoMaas Poster of the Month Award.

This month's winner:

Quotes taken from the NoMaas comments board:

Die Hard Sox Fan:
"Oh yeah, the farm system hasn’t produced anyone? Nixon, Varitek, Youkilis, Arroyo and a slew of other young guys that will be wiping you out for years to come."

Reality: Varitek & Arroyo were not products of the Red Sox farm system.  Varitek came from Seattle and Arroyo came from Pittsburgh.  Also, what key contributions has Youkilis made?
Does he cheer Boston on from Pawtucket?

Die Hard Sox Fan:
"It’s a post 2004 world."

Word is born, my friend.  Word is born.
 

08.01.2005 BUSTED: Schilling tests positive for Viagra

Major League Baseball announced today that Red Sox pitcher, Curt Schilling, has tested positive for the performance-enhancing drug, Viagra. As a result, Schilling has been prohibited from participating in sports radio interviews for the next 10 days.  Schilling is the highest-profile player to be reprimanded under baseball's new testing policy.

The makers of EverQuest had no comment.
 

08.01.2005 Let the truth be told

After being DFA'd instead of Wayne Franklin, former Yankees reliever, Buddy Groom, unleashed a large dosage of criticism on Joe Torre, echoing the sentiments of many Yankee fans:

"I wouldn't encourage anybody that's thinking about coming here [New York]. Don't come here thinking you're going to get any opportunities. Because unless you're one of Joe's boys, you're not. It was the same way last year in Baltimore with (Lee) Mazzilli, because this is where he learned it." (Source)

Remember Todd Zeile?
 

8.01.2005 An absolute beast

.445 OBP / .553 SLG / .998 OPS

08.01.2005 Thank you, Brian.

Thank you for not giving into the pressure.  Thank you for protecting our young assets.  You are turning this organization into the force that it should be.

Cashman: A Great American Hero
 

07.31.2005 Brawl in Beantown

"The source said that before that game, which was started by Tampa Bay's Seth McClung, David Ortiz said aloud to Schilling, ``Man, that guy's got some nasty stuff,'' to which Schilling supposedly responded, ``Yeah, that's why Manny took the day off.'' Ramirez then supposedly said to Schilling, ``Screw you, I can hit anyone in baseball, including your ass.'' Then, the source said, Ramirez went up to Schilling and, before the confrontation escalated, Ortiz had to separate the two." (Source)

Photo taken in Boston clubhouse
 

07.30.2005 Yankees sign lefty specialist

At the insistence of manager Joe Torre, the Yankees signed left-hander Aron Ralston.  Ralston, who amputated his own right arm during a hiking accident, impressed Torre with his toughness.  "It took a lot of guts to do what he did.  That shows he'll be able to come through in critical situations against tough lefties like David Ortiz and Garret Anderson. Also, come October, he'll have hit 30, which is critical for postseason success.  And, most importantly, you'll notice he throws with his left-hand."

Left-hander Alex Graman will be sent back to AAA to make room for Ralston.  "He needs some more major league experience before I can trust him in major league games," commented Torre.  When asked to clarify how it would be possible to get major league experience in AAA, Torre said "Mer, uh, well-" and was cut off when his hair combusted and he was forced to run out of the room.  Ralston will be assigned the number 1/2, the first fraction issued since the 3'7" Eddie Gaedal wore 1/8 for the St. Louis Browns in 1951.
 

07.27.2005 Joe bakes a cake for Arod

"Not only is it a birthday for Alex, it's his 30th birthday," Torre remarked. "It was driving me crazy that he was only 29.  Now I can trust him.  He is a True Yankee™!"

07.26.2005 Randy Johnson signs endorsement deal with Hostess; eats Twinkies

Randy Johson struck out 11 Twins over 8 IP.
 

07.24.2005 Los Angeles Sacramento San Francisco Oakland San Diego Fresno San Jose Angels of Anaheim go for sweep

07.21.2005 Wayne Franklin sent down; Torre upset because he is over 30

After a very unsuccessful stint with the big club, Wayne Franklin was optioned to Columbus by GM Brian Cashman, while left-hander Alex Graman was called up.   Torre was obviously disappointed in Franklin's demotion as Four Rings™ prefers to keep the average age of the roster as high as possible.  According to MLB.com:

"Torre sounded disappointed, saying that Franklin pitched well Tuesday except for the one pitch to Blalock. But the 31-year-old lefty has struggled in five appearances with the Yankees, compiling a 12.27 ERA.

"When Brian calls and says, 'This is what we're doing,' [then] that's what we're doing," Torre said. "I work for people just like everybody else. " (Source)

Graman, 27, is another blow to Torre's goal of registering the Yankees with the AARP.

Cashman provides Torre with additional summer reading.
 

07.20.2005 Torre beats Yankees 2-1

With the Yankees ahead 1-0 in the bottom of the eighth and the heart of the Rangers' order due up, Joe Torre decided to bring in Wayne Franklin.  Franklin, a 31 year old recently called up from AAA, sports a sparkling 12.27 ERA with a majestic 1.250 OPS against.

Hank Blalock proceeded to hit a 2-run HR.

07.20.2005 NoMaas Medical Breakthrough: The Mystery of Kevin Brown's back

After Kevin Brown deliberately ignored his teammates' high-5s when he came off the mound in Monday's win over Texas, NoMaas subjected the chronically-injured veteran to a variety of tests and physical challenges.  It was discovered that Brown's infamous back ailments are not due to his unorthodox delivery to home plate, nor can they be attributed to the rigors of a long major league career.  Rather, his chronic back pain is a result of carrying too much weight over the course of his lifetime.  Brown has lived a laborious lifestyle hauling such things as mining supplies, small children, rugs, water canteens, shovels, and illegal immigrants.

07.19.2005 Rangers visit Mt. Slugmore

07.19.2005 What a long and strange trip

07.18.2005 Messin' with Texas

07.18.2005 One parting shot

Boston fan proposing to Gary Sheffield.  After all, it is Massachusetts.
 

07.18.2005 Visa debuts new commercial

"Yankees Suck" T-shirt = $15
 
 
 
 
 
 

"Yankees Suck" gingerbread   house = $25
 
 
 
 
 

Taking 3 out of 4 at Fenway =  Priceless
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

07.18.2005 Dan Shaughnessy, the Prophet

"It's OK to say it. Don't worry about jinxing them. The 2005 Red Sox are going to win the American League East. By a landslide. Come late September, this is going to look like Secretariat at the Belmont in 1973.

After looking up at the Orioles for two frustrating months, the Sox moved into first place Friday night and they are there to stay. Stop worrying about the Yankees, Orioles, and Jays. It's not even going to be close." - Dan Shaughnessy, Boston Globe

Any more predictions, Dan?
 

07.17.2005 NoMaas Special Report:  Varitek's "C"

NoMaas has been engaged in a season-long, covert operation to find out the meaning of the "C" located on Jason Varitek's uniform.  Varitek, also known as "The Man Who Fights With His Mask On", has been able to keep the significance of the letter a secret.  However, NoMaas has obtained the following photograph which solves the mystery of the infamous "C".

For a full briefing, please click here.
 

07.17.2005 Hasta la vista, baby.

07.17.2005 BoSox fans in monster seats to wear body armor

Due to a barrage of air assaults by Gary Sheffield and Alex Rodriguez, Red Sox fans in the overpriced "Monster" seats have purchased a large supply of body armor.  When asked about the purpose of the protective gear, one fan named "Sully" remarked:  "Yah dude.  Sheff's ball hit the wall so hahd that beeah fell ovah.  And Arod, he hit my buddy Smitty right in the ahm."

In the monster seats, Sox fans react to hearing the news that Burger King is open late.
 

07.16.2005 Recap

  17
 
 
 
 
 
 

   1
 
 
 
 
 
 

07.15.2005 Arod: "Welcome back, Curt."

07.15.2005 Arroyo blames sound guy for poor performance

Fresh off his concert at a Boston nightclub, Red Sox rockstar Bronson Arroyo served up 3 HRs in 5.2 innings in a loss to the New York Yankees.  When asked what went wrong, Arroyo responded "I really wanted more bass and less treble during that at-bat versus Sheffield.  And then with Giambi, my word, my monitor speakers were way off."

Boston starter, Bronson Arroyo, warming up in the bullpen before the Yankees-Sox game.
 

07.14.2005 Yankee pitchers watch video of Ortiz

Since 2002, David Ortiz has a whopping 1.022 OPS versus the Yankees.  In preparation for the upcoming series, Yankee pitchers were sent to a special video session in the hopes of identifying a weakness in Ortiz's hitting approach.

07.14.2005 "Dominican" Arod causes chain reaction

Despite being born and raised in the United States, Alex Rodriguez emphatically declared, "I am a Dominican" and will be playing for the Dominican Republic in baseball's first World Classic (Source).  Arod's proclamation has set off a chain reaction around baseball.  Sources have told NoMaas that the United States will no longer be represented in the tournament, as every "American" player will be playing for the team of their ancestral origin.

John Flaherty - Ireland                                          Jason Giambi - Italy
 

07.12.2005 You damn right.

"This is what we want," Sheffield said. "The way we're playing right now, you want to play the first-place team and take back the division." (Source)
 

07.12.2005 It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...

"We have to get back to doing what made the Yankees so good for such a long period beginning in the '90s," said Cashman. "We're in the position we're in because we stopped developing our own young players."

""The first thing Cabrera did when Cano came up was thank him for giving everyone in the organization hope. People in the organization felt that it sent a breath of fresh air down through every level. We do have young players, good ones, and the players now know we're willing to give them opportunities if they perform." (Source)
 

07.10.2005 I must break you.

07.08.2005 Gammons Flunks Baseball IQ Test

NoMaas sources are telling us that Peter "The Icon" Gammons flunked a recent baseball IQ test.  When asked to write an essay about the Yankees' minor league system, Gammons responded:  "The Yankees have no farm.  They have no major-league ready talent."  With rookies Chien-Ming Wang, Robinson Cano, and Melky Cabrera all playing signficant roles on the major league club, Gammons was completely wrong.

Word on the street is that Rob Neyer, Baseball America, the entire crew of Baseball Tonight, the Boston Herald, Jayson Stark, and all Red Sox fans also failed the test.

07.08.2005 Yo Melky!  It's me, Cash.

It appears that the New York faction is wrestling more power away from the Tampa faction.  Twenty-year old prospect, Melky Cabrera, has been called up to the Boogie Down Bronx to become the Yankees new CF.  Cashman's desire to bring more youth to the club is becoming reality.  Good luck Melky.

In a recent interview by NoMaas, Cashman was asked why he decided to call up Melky Cabrera.
His reply: "Oh, I made that up one night while I was eating dinner."
 

07.08.2005 Gotham terrorized by Riddler

Yankees pitching coach, Mel Stottlemyre, kept all Yankee fans and followers in suspense Wednesday by delivering news in cryptic fashion about hurler Carl Pavano.  "It's a guessing game," said Stottlemyre when asked how to remedy Pavano's pitching problems.  Carl has failed to throw as many as seven innings in any of his last seven starts, but a recent MRI showed no injury.  Pavano, like the rest of us, will have to figure this one out on his own.  If he can solve this enigma, it will be proof positive that he is the World's Greatest Detective. (Source)
 

07.06.2005 He's baaaccckkkk.

Since June 1st, Jason Giambi has a .479 OBP and a .575 SLG.  That's good for a monster OPS of 1.054!  In celebration of the best #6 hitter in baseball, the Yankees have released a limited edition DVD:

07.01.2005 NoMaas Statistical Breakthrough: Ring Index

Move over Bill James.  There's a new innovate thinker in town.  He is NoMaas staff member, Frank Torre.  Deep in his laboratory, he has devised a new breakthrough method of evaluating baseball players: The Ring Index.  Click here to learn more.
 

06.30.2005Rained out

06.29.2005Torre off to see the wizard

Making another mind-boggling decision, Joe Torre elected to bring in Yankee dynasty leftover Mike Stanton in the bottom of the 10th in a crucial game with Baltimore.  Stanton then proceeded to surrender a walk-off HR to Brian Roberts.

After the game, Torre left the clubhouse in search of the Wizard of Oz.  When a reporter caught up to the Yankee manager, already two miles down the Yellow Brick Road, Torre stated: "I want the Wizard to give me a brain."

06.29.2005Who Has the Power?

Yankees fans eagerly await the results of the Tampa meeting:

New York faction

VS.

Tampa faction
 

06.28.2005 NoMaas Exclusive Interview with First Base

NoMaas staff member, Sensei John Kreese, sat down for an exclusive interview with the first base bag at Yankee Stadium.  Here is what First Base had to say:

On Don Mattingly: "It was a pleasure to work with him.  He protected me very well.  If someone tried to slide into me, he always hit them with his glove."

On the return of Tino Martinez: "Nice to have Tino back.  He is a class act."

On Tony Womack: "Who?  I don't think I've ever met him."

Always one for a soundbyte.
 

06.23.2005 Grand Opening: Carl Pavano's Dead Fish Market

You like seafood?  Well, come on down to Carl Pavano's Dead Fish market.  We have the best dead fish you can find.  Plus, we sell all the fishing supplies you need, including tackle.  This week we have a sale on sinkers that don't sink.  Don't miss out!

06.23.2005 Yankees announce free T-shirt day

To increase fan morale, the Yankees will be giving away free T-shirts to the first 25,000 fans who arrive at Thursday's game.
 

06.22.2005 Randy continues to serve his favorite dish, but the real Sheff changes the menu.

Randy Johnson whipped up another batch of his signature dish, but Gary Sheffield (2 HRs, 7 RBIs) cooked up another entree as he led the Yankees back from an 8-run deficit against Tampa Bay.

06.21.2005 A New Hope

"If the Yankees make a trade before the July 31 nonwaiver deadline, they will probably do so with only minor leaguers or major league veterans. The veteran left fielder Tony Womack may be dealt soon, but two rookies, starter Chien-Ming Wang and second baseman Robinson Cano, are all but untouchable.

I can't see myself recommending us trading them at all," Yankees General Manager Brian Cashman said, referring to Wang and Cano. "I'd be surprised if there was anything that would get me to change that. I can only control what I recommend, but that's something I don't see." (Source)

"Trading our best prospects?  A Jedi craves not these things."
 

06.18.2005 Another Yankee trade proposal rejected

When the Yankees' proposal to San Diego was rejected (Womack for a bag of peanut M&Ms), Brian Cashman tried to get creative.  He contacted Bill Ferguson, the manager of Jim's Hardware in the Boise, Idaho T-ball league.  Cashman proposed a Womack-for-Kimball deal.  Young Howie Kimball is 3rd in the Little Sluggers league with a .502 OBP.  The proposal was quickly rejected.  Bill Ferguson commented on the proposed deal saying "Womack has great speed and he makes "Things" happen, but Howie is 31 years younger and has shown some promise."  The dog was not included in the proposal.

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06.18.2005 Halsey speaks out

Young Arizona Diamondback left-hander, Brad Hasley, spoke about being a prospect in the Yankee farm system.  Halsey was traded to Arizona in the Randy Johnson deal.

"During a recent interview, Halsey suggested a young pitcher can easily get lost in the Yankees organization and lose his confidence.

Halsey was in the New York farm system and because the Yankees have a penchant for going outside to bring in big-name, high-priced talent via free agency, he said many of the team's minor leaguers felt abandoned and couldn't wait to get traded.

Halsey felt similar feelings after posting a 17-9 record in the minors during the 2003 season.

"You win 17 games and you can't even get an invite to spring training," Halsey said of the Yankees. "They don't know who a lot of their minor leaguers are, which is unfortunate."

When Halsey was promoted, he introduced himself to manager Joe Torre and pitching coach Mel Stottlemyre, and Halsey said neither recognized him." (Source)
 

06.18.2005 Break out the violin

Tony "Things" Womack is at it again, whining about his role on the Yankees.  This .555 OPS hitter apparently doesn't agree with how the Yankees are utilizing him.  Surely, the Yankees can find a way to better use a player who has an early 80s porn mustache.

""Man, nothing surprises me on this team," Womack said. "It's all about winning. That's all that matters." (Source)
 

Tony Womack autographed Fleer card, valued by Beckett at -$2.50
 

06.15.05 "Out of the loop"

On WFAN's Mike & the Mad Dog, former Yankee GM and architect of the most recent Yankee dynasty, Gene "Stick" Michael, made some very depressing comments.  Still employed by the Yankees, Stick indicated that he was now "out of the loop" in the organization's decision-making. He was not consulted on any off-season transactions.  Michael, who built the Yankee dynasty through smart acquisitions and minor league development, sounded completely dumbfounded as to why Steinbrenner & Co. cut him out.

The Man Who Built the Yankee Dynasty
 

06.14.05 Yankee trade proposal rejected

"Tony Womack has not played second base since May 1, and he is starting to be irritated about it. Asked if he would at least like to play second when Robinson Cano sits, Womack said, "I don't know what goes on," then threw up his hands and walked away." (Source)

In response to his obvious frustration, Brian Cashman tried to accomodate Tony "He Makes Things^TM Happen" Womack by attempting to trade him to San Diego, who lost their starting second baseman Mark Loretta to a thumb injury.  Cashman proposed the following trade, but it was quickly rejected by the Padres' front office.

FOR 
 
 

06.12.05 There are some things money can't buy...

For everything else, there's Tony Womack.

.291 OBP = $4,000,000
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

.279 SLG = $4,000,000
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The fact that Tony Womack is a multi-millionaire = Priceless.
 
 

06.11.05 Where is the old Boss?

Where is the old George Steinbrenner and can someone please bring him back, at least temporarily?

"Joe Torre's job is safe," Steinbrenner said Friday through his publicist, Howard Rubenstein. "He's safe at home." (Source)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

06.09.05 The world sees it, why can't you?

Joe, please.  How can you not see it?  Please take Bernie out of center field.  How many more runs are you going to allow score with him out there?  Let him go out with some dignity.  He's like a horse with a broken leg.  Again, in the most recent game vs. Milwaukee, Lyle Overbay hit a flyball that would have been caught by an average center fielder, but instead it fell for a game-tying double.
 

Obviously not a management major.
 

06.08.05 Yankees? Yankees?  Anyone?  Yankees?

The start of the MLB amateur draft was delayed by 5 minutes because the Yankees had not yet arrived to their post.
 

06.08.05 You are invited

...to Randy Johnson's summer beach blast.  There will be plenty of entertainment.  And Randy will be serving up lots of hot dogs, burgers, and home runs.  So come on down and tell your friends.  Javy Vazquez and Brad Halsey, if you're reading this, you are not invited.

6.05.05 "Oh Yeah." Michael Kay loves Kool-Aid

Yankee mouthpiece, Michael Kay, comments on keeping Russ Johnson on the roster vs. Andy Phillips:

"If you remember, both Johnson and Phillips were on the team at the same time and a roster move had to be made. The Yankees have options on Phillips but do not have an option on Johnson. If they had tried to send Johnson down they would have had to expose him to waivers and they probably would have lost him. They are not ready to do that and they feel the difference between the two is not that great that you would sacrifice one for the other.

Also, Johnson is a bit more versatile than Phillips. One other thing, Phillips is still a youngster while Johnson is 32, and they feel Phillips' progression and growth would be better served playing every day and getting at-bats in Triple A." (Source)
 

6.04.05 Joe, please stop it

The Yankees currently have a 6 game losing streak.  In order to give this team the best chance of winning, Torre decides to put two of the worst hitters in baseball at the top of the Yankees lineup:

Womack LF
Sanchez SS
Sheffield RF
Matsui CF
A-Rod 3B
Giambi DH
Tino 1B
Flaherty C
Cano 2B
 

6.04.05 Fire Torre

His lineup construction is a joke.  His 1950s baseball philosophy doesn't work.  His situational strategy is horrendous.  His pitching coach ruins young pitchers.  Other teams are allowed to hit Yankee batters with no retaliation.  He got outmanaged by Terry Francona in the ALCS.  This team has no sense of urgency.  They got swept by the worst team in baseball.  They are 0-25 this year when trailing after 8 innings.

Enough is enough.

Fire Torre.
 

Elmo: "Joe, don't you realize that Bernie can't play CF anymore?"

Joe: "I've won 4 rings with him."
 

6.04.05 My grandmother hits harder than that

With his slugging percentage now at .298, I would just like to announce that my grandmother hits harder than Tony Womack.

My Grandmother
 

5.31.05 Cash to the Rescue

""It was all defense," Cashman said. "This team is supposed to be built around pitching. You support the pitching with defense, and we were getting hurt on the defensive side."

"... storm clouds are on the horizon if we keep just staying old," Cashman said. "You've got to reinvent yourself with youth and mix them in with the veterans, instead of going all veterans."

"I'm not looking to trade these guys [Cano & Wang], because we do have to be younger, and trading them for some quick fix is contrary to the long-term goal that's necessary here," Cashman said. "But we take every decision at that moment in time and weigh it. I'm not interested in moving these guys, but at the same time, they don't have any no-trades, and I don't make all the decisions."
(Source)

Amen, Cash, Amen.
 

5.31.05 Russ Johnson has naked pictures of Torre

How else can you explain the following comments by Torre?

"He's been in the big leagues before. He's one of those guys who is going to get dirty and play the game hard," Torre said of Johnson. "He's a hard-nosed little guy. He's going to do whatever he can to stay here and fill whatever role you need." (Source)

You seriously cannot make this stuff up.  By the way, Andy Phillips hit another HR at Columbus.
 

5.31.05 Torre: "I'd rather give a guy with 4 HRs more ABs than Alex Rodriguez."

It is a proven fact that the higher a position a player has in the batting order, the more ABs he will see over the course of a game and season.

Many Yankee fans have been wondering why Alex Rodriguez, arguably the best hitter in the American League this season, has been hitting 5th.  To our surprise, Joe Torre moved him to the cleanup spot for the last game of the Boston series.  Could Joe have come to the realization that perhaps he should get Arod more ABs and put him in a better position to drive runners in?  Check out his comments after the game:

"I like the way we're lined up with Matsui hitting fourth." - Torre on keeping Arod permanently at the #4 spot vs. #5. (Source)

For more on Torre's bizzaro lineups, read Daniel LaRusso's commentary.
 

5.30.05 Murderer's Row 2005

Move over Ruth, Gehrig, and Lazzeri.  There's a new triple threat in the Bronx.  Ladies and gentleman, I give you Tony Womack, Rey Sanchez, and mighty Russ Johnson.  In the rubber game of the 3-game series with Boston, Commander Torre decides to go out with guns blazing and insert 3 automatic outs into the lineup.  My bowels make better moves than Joe Torre
 

5.30.05 A fan's recap of the last Boston game

Taken from a Yankees message board:

"You know what...I stopped watching this game in the 2nd because Bad Moose was here and Cano wasn’t in the lineup meaning I have no reason to watch this piece of #### team. Then, I turn it back on to find out Wang has held the fort beautifully and I’m thinking I’m going to get to see him close the game out with his economical as always pitch count. However, he allows a bloop single and then a runner reaches on what should be an error by E-Rod only to be taken out by Joe #### Torre…

Torre, #### you. His pitch count was not high and it’s not like he’s going to pitch any #### time soon since you keep skipping him in the rotation in favor of people who aren’t as effective you stupid piece of ####. To compound matters, you bring in Mike #### Stanton who is #### done. It’s over Torre, this isn’t the Stanton of the late 90s, he sucks. No matter how #### hard you want him to be your stupid #### LOOGY, he won’t be. He sucks in general and he sucks at being a LOOGY, so STOP #### BRINGING HIM IN THE GAME. Stop making stupid #### decisions with this #### team you piece of ####, I wish I could kill you.

And before I forget, why the #### is Bernie Williams allowed to play CF???? He can’t do it anymore, he sucks at it, can’t Torre #### see this, does he not watch the #### games he should be #### managing????????"
 

5.25.05 Poor Andy Phillips

With all the ridiculous decisions that this front office and coaching staff has made, nothing is more disgusting than what this organization has done with Andy Phillips.  No matter what this kid does, Joe "Green Tea" Torre & Co. refuse to keep him on the MLB roster.  The Yankees 2004 Minor League Player of the Year & AAA All-Star Game MVP hit 26 HRs at Columbus with a .957 OPS.  He then has a monster spring and only made the team because Kevin Brown was put on the disabled list.  Then, when Ruben Sierra returns from the DL, the Yankees elect to send Andy Phillips back down to Columbus and keep the 32-year old Russ Johnson on the roster.  We all know how Torre likes his "veterans."  What does Andy do?  In 5 games at Columbus, he is hitting .409 with a 1.208 OPS!!  Hey Cash!  Either call this kid back up or trade him!  Don't let him rot in the minors!!!
 

5.23.05 Toddler hits more balls out of the infield than Tony Womack

The season-long slump for Jimmy Horowitz continued during the Yankees most recent West Coast trip.  The 5-year old went 3-27 with 8 Ks. However, he did manage to hit 3 balls out of the infield which exceeded multi-millionaire Tony Womack's total by 1.

Horowitz takes a swing at a Rich Harden slider.
 

5.22.05 Rey Sanchez leads the league in Personal Character Average

According to the most recent data, Yankees backup IF Rey Sanchez, 37, leads the American League in Personal Character Average per 9 innings with a whopping .543!!  He is currently on a 14-19 streak with 3 paper cups thrown in the garbage, 4 pats on the buttocks, 6 fist bumps, and 1 very clutch holding the clubhouse door open.  Sanchez currently makes $600,000 while every Yankee minor leaguer would make $316,000 if promoted to the majors.