We understand you are a bit torn about your decision of whether to attend Rice University or sign with the Yankees to play professional ball. In the interest of fostering a rational, well-researched decision, we figured we could spend a little time to gather some information for you. It is our goal to remove all bias and simply present you with the truth, which will hopefully lead you to sign a contract with sports’ most storied franchise.

• A university’s mascot is supposed to be emblematic of the values the school prides itself on. In Rice’s case they employ an Owl for this goal, which historically has conveyed wisdom and prosperity. The reality here is that an owl is a bird and not really that smart at all. If they really had any brains they wouldn’t sleep during the day and wake up at night, right? Owls also are far-sighted, incapable of distinguishing objects presented within close proximity to their faces, and are well known for eating their food and then regurgitating the parts they can’t handle in pellet form. Look, we know the decision is tough, but it seems that Rice is already trying to destroy your baseball career - the last things you need to learn are how to wear thick glasses, sleep through day games and classes, and yak up your food. Just putting it out there.

• We understand that you’ve taken courses to become a Certified Webmaster. Ok, we’ll be frank here – we need you. The Red Sox have their own Certified Webmaster, and his name is Curt Schilling. Seeing as Yankees fans and Red Sox fans are always fighting with each other about which team is better, it would go a long way to have a young, lean, dashing, intelligent (3.95 GPA!) Webmaster who unlike their webmaster, doesn't look like someone you would actually meet online at 3am.

• Seriously, though – an Owl? The bird used as a false decoy in a lot of horror movies before the real monster strikes? In fact, has anyone in any movie ever successfully been attacked by an owl? Of course not. Ask yourself this: are there any owls in Braveheart? No, there are not. Did 300 owls hold off all of Persia's armies at the Battle of Thermopylae? No sir.

• You’ve already hit the baseball jackpot by being drafted by the Yankees, so why take the chance of landing somewhere awful when you’re eligible again in 3 years? Your goal is to play baseball in the long run, and you’ve just pulled the Golden Ticket to do so. When you’re playing shortstop in the Bronx in 2010, being a community leader, hitting homeruns for hospitalized children, and making a difference in the greatest city in the world, Rick Hague will have just been redrafted by the Royals and assigned to Rookie ball in Burlington, NC. Advantage: Angelini.

• Additionally, your name is Carmen Angelini. With a name like that, is there any other place to play besides New York? Think of all the great Italians who have played for the Yankees: Lazzeri, Crosetti, DiMaggio, Berra, Rizzuto, Pepitone, Righetti, Fasano -- you could be added to that elite group. Plus, do you want to take a chance and go to another city which may not respect meatballs? What if you're drafted by Boston? You'll be stuck eating cabbage and potatoes. Don't do that to yourself! Let the moon hit your eye like a big pizza pie.

On a serious note, the Yankees have made a commitment in recent years to player development. Sure, they will go out and acquire the big free agent if it’s worth it, but the emphasis now is on finding the best amateur talent and developing them into Yankees, not trade bait for veterans. You are a huge part of that. If you didn’t already know it, you’ve got thousands of Yankee fans across the country wishing and holding their breath for you in pinstripes. On behalf of those thousands, we ask you to do the right thing for yourself and your career. If that’s Rice University, then fine, but for a guy that’s been the District 2-5A player of the year, the Class 5A player of the year, the American Press' all-Southwest Louisiana big school player of the year, Louisiana's Mr. Baseball, and the Gatorade Player of the Year in Louisiana, becoming a baseball player for the greatest baseball franchise in the world seems awfully fitting.

Sincerely,

NoMaas.org